Ninja.

Ever since I got my Ipod Touch, which happens to be about the coolest thing in the universe aside from me, I have been on a quest (yes) for super-awesome apps. I think there is sort of an unspoken competition between all owners of Apple-powered devices of who can find the sweetest app. My father (ipad owner) and I are in a constant battle (though neither of us would admit) to download the most useful and fun app. So far, I've downloaded stuff like Redbox, the "Froyo Finder," the Conan O'Brian app, a dictionary, the urban dictionary, and so on. Even though I have close to a quarter of a million dollars sitting around in itunes gift cards, I don't like buying apps. (itunes cards are strictly for music). I have only stepped off the free apps path twice in my app downloading career. The first was to buy the Froyo Finder app, which was a waste of 99 cents because it's piece of crap and I downloaded another app for free that does the same thing and more. The second time, which happened about 2 weeks ago whilst on vacation in Emerald Isle, was to purchase the Fruit Ninja app.

I'd sworn to myself that I would never put games on my Itouch. I figured the 32 gigs of space would be filled with nothing but glorious, awesome, Jacob Ankney-Approved-Tunage and a couple practical apps (like one that lets me text everyone but nobody has the number for unless I want them to. genius). I was doing pretty well. Then I downloaded Fruit Ninja.

Best dolla ever spent.

I'm not going to pretend I discovered Fruit Ninja, because, truth to be told, I knew about it before I even had an Itouch.

For those who have not progressed into the new millennium and still believe that Al Gore is the reason we have internet, Fruit Ninja is a game on the itouch in which fruit is thrown onto the screen and the player must use their finger to slice it in two before it falls off the screen.

It is not this:

I don't believe a caption is necessary.

The description tells us that "all ninjas hate fruit," which is rather convenient because "fruit cowboy" probably wouldn't sell as much and has negative connotations if really thought about. (cough, brokeback mountain).  Essentially, this game allows me to become my inner ninja while simultaneously turning my fingers into scimitars. Winning. The game is pretty straightforward. Slice the fruit. You would not believe how many hours of entertainment this provides.

On the ride home from NC, I played fruit ninja for about 3 and a half hours straight. GONE are the days where I needed a game boy color and pokemon yellow to keep me occupied in the minivan. Who needs to train a Pikachu for 40 hours so you can beat the game when you can just go slice 400 assorted watermelons, pineapples, strawberries, and bananas to pieces? Fruit Ninja is a lot like running where you "compete against yourself," along with how it's completely pointless. 

The twisted side of me waits for the release of "Veggie Ninja," the game where I can slice Bob, Larry, The French Peas (Jean-Claude and Phillipe), and all their other in-ground comrades to smithereens when I don't like the silly song. But seriously, Veggietales needs to be put down like a rap for the streets. The cul-de-sacs and whatnot.

Bottom line is, Fruit Ninja is more addicting than eating nutella waffles in your underwear on a Saturday morning because your parents aren't home and that's what you do instead of having a house party.