The quote wall is a set of sticky notes on my shelf that function strictly for record-keeping purposes. Every time someone says something memorable/funny/off the wall, we write it down and stick it up there.
Here are some of the best quotes from my apartment's quote wall. there are a fetch of a lot more, but some quotes take way too long to explain and thustly were not included, funny as they may be. sort of like an inside joke. this guy right here knows what i'm talking about.
"Are you going to use that on your skin?"
explanation-For the first BYU home game, Jake, andrew, and i ran off campus to get some body paint. faces, arms, and someone's chest (mine) were going to be plastered with BYU blue to be shown at the U of Utah v. BYU game. Sadly, we got crushed like i would get crushed if a sumo wrestler sat on me, but we continued to paint up for every game. Walmart ended up being out of face paint, so we went over to hobby lobby, a store that i am almost completely sure only exists in scrapbook/genealogy happy valley Utah. Since i didn't have any cash, I couldn't split for the body paint which we found there, so i bought two blue sharpies on my debit card......which are used to emblazon the famed "Y" on my chest to this day. If Sharissa would get off her butt, learn how to work a computer, then upload all the pictures she takes of me, I'd have one to show you. but i don't. anyhow, the lady working at the register (i bought the sharpies right after andrew bought the face paint) queried the above, to which i responded "uh.....We're making a poster." quickest and best lie i've ever told in my life. she totally bought it. Who says men can't walk into a craft store and own it?
"We are SO single." (also "We are so SINGLE," there's a difference).
-This comes up on numerous occasions. be it riding around in jake's Kia screaming "KISS HER" out the window at any couple walking the streets of provo, sitting around stalking people on facebook, or trying to pick up chicks from the women's soccer team by going to their ward prayer (unsuccessful), "we are so single" gets said anywhere from 5 to 20 times a day. it usually means that we're either way desperate or we don't care about women enough to care about the way we act around them, or it just means we're available. like really available. party rock.
"I'm not gay or anything, but he's a pretty good-looking dude."
-This was the quote wall's first baby. so a certain guy on my floor had a date with a certain chick, both of whom will remain nameless for their sakes, and the chick turned down another guy to go on this date with the first one. Guy #2 is pretty much the object and target of every woman's affections in my ward, so in an attempt to build guy #1 up and totally make him way more nervous for his date than he ever should have been, someone told him this. What was even better is that "I'm not gay or anything...." slipped out at his house over thanksgiving dinner. Awkward looks from his parents, but not in my direction.
"I just lynched obama!"
Andrew has a Barack Obama bobblehead. I've called it his "graven image" or "false God." Essentially he gets mocked for not having the ultra-right-wing views that are common to pretty much every person out here at BYU that uses the bathroom more than once a week, which i'm sure is more than 50 %. We were talking one night, and he went to move something off his shelf and accidentally knocked Obama off. Obama got caught in the string of a shoebag that was also on his shelf, and dangled there from his neck until andrew saw his mistake and freaked out about it.
"dude, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. cut him some slack."
"He's got a pencil stuck in his eye...."
-Not going to explain this.
"it's my feminine side......wait that makes me sound gay. my sensitive side. my sensitive side."
As we were talking about movies today, I jokingly threw out the idea to go see the new twilight movie in lieu of "Warrior" (an MMA movie that was mad sick). without any chicks. that's right. man night. intentional rhyme. watch for my rap album that'll drop before my 2nd semester is over with. andrew agreed because he has a sense of humor, and guy #3 (who shall remain unnamed for his sake) said "you know, i wouldn't mind seeing it...." The horror. The Horror. After we chucked him headfirst out of our apartment and revoked his speaking privileges for the afternoon, he attempted to defend himself with the above quotation. feeble. But we forgive.
Might i also comment that i sampled some of taylor swift's new live album, and her voice sounds rather unattractive live. pity. stick to the studio, girl. that's where i'll be........
On the other hand, i started listening to Cake over the long weekend, and i'm pretty hooked. favorite song currently is their cover of frank sinatra's "strangers in the night." It's possible that i will be dancing to Cake at my wedding.
This post is dedicated to Sharissa because she told me to write it and because she made me brownies tonight. about 84.2% of the time the only things that get me through the week are the promise of a meal from Sharissa and my "me time" lunch on fridays. party of one. Song from the new muppet movie that i will be singing every friday at 130 pm for the rest of my college existence.
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