Mumblecore.

One thing I forgot to mention about my visit to the Naro was the discovery of a new film genre.

It had to have been fate. Had George and I carpooled and lessened our carbon footprint on downtown Norfolk, I would not have had the chance to wander around in "The Naro Expanded Video" for the better part of an hour and stumble upon this slice of the film industry that until last night I had remained woefully ignorant of.

The "Expanded Video" store is organized much in the way that my high school binders were, meaning that nobody but me knew exactly where everything was. I've heard it called "chaotic organization." I.E., My mother thinks I'm super-disorganized, but I can find anything at the drop of a hat. The only thing that stinks about this is that in "Expanded Video" I play the part of my mother instead of my omniscient self.

 So I'm walking through the store, waiting for George to call me and tell me he's lost in the urban labyrinth known as Norfolk. Not really looking for anything in particular.

My eye is suddenly drawn to this label:

Ultra-low budget. Improvised script. Non-professional actors. (if you can't read what's in the picture) It's kind of like Dubstep but without a drop.

You know what that sounds like? Something my 8 year old brother and his best friend made in the backyard with a digital camera that they stole from my room. Next thing I know they'll be using our grill to replace the CGI for Mount Doom and using my neighbor's german shepard for a Balrog.

It wasn't long before I thought "maybe I could make my own mumblecore movie." Ultra low budget? Got that like you would not believe. My bank statement looks almost as bad as the United States'. Improvised script? I play jazz music, which involves improvisation, so how could a movie script be much different? Nonprofessional actors? Unless you count being paid to mow lawns as acting, I think I'm good.

It'll probably only take a week of shooting to get all the raw footage together, and in the spirit of mumblecore, I'm not going to plan/even think about a plotline until the camera starts rolling. No editing. Soundtrack featuring an orchestra of voovozelas. Available on itunes this fall. The most time consuming part will be putting the whole thing on Windows Movie Maker and putting half the film in grayscale.

For all the Indie-Hipsters out there, I think mumblecore is here to stay. Watch for my film and join "The Movement." (Something that all indie-hipsters talk about but don't really know what it is).

Forget action movies. Screw chick flicks. Romantic comedies. Slashers. Documentaries even take the backseat when Mumblecore is in the car.

It's a new form of American expression that anyone can be a part of.

Next thing I know my future sons will have to study this for their cinematography merit badge.

Turns out, after a 3 minute investigation on wikipedia, mumblecore has only been around since 2002. The complete list of mumblecore films is available on Wikipedia, and, after reading synopses of a couple, I have decided that if I am ever subject to a mumblecore movie party at college I'll just go outside and try to bury myself in the snow and wait for hypothermia to set in. It might be a more peaceful way to die.